| … | … | @@ -2992,6 +2992,196 @@ On related news: |
| 2992 | 2992 | and where the user might not notice (because COPYING is such an innocuous file name...) Interesting. |
| 2993 | 2993 | \end_layout |
| 2994 | 2994 | |
| 2995 | \begin_layout Subsection* |
| 2996 | 13 January 2026 |
| 2997 | \end_layout |
| 2998 | |
| 2999 | \begin_layout Standard |
| 3000 | Ugh. |
| 3001 | I don't want to write this diary entry. |
| 3002 | I want to procrastinate, |
| 3003 | and do something mentally easy and relaxing. |
| 3004 | Distract myself with any one of the easily available dopamine–hit sources: |
| 3005 | youtube, |
| 3006 | reading, |
| 3007 | ... |
| 3008 | read lots of NYRB (New York Review of Books) again over Christmas in Chicago. |
| 3009 | Absolutely wonderful, |
| 3010 | pleasurable reading! |
| 3011 | Every article, |
| 3012 | you start thinking |
| 3013 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3014 | \end_inset |
| 3015 | |
| 3016 | well, |
| 3017 | this will be a boring topic |
| 3018 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3019 | \end_inset |
| 3020 | |
| 3021 | but you read the article and it's wonderful! |
| 3022 | No matter how disjoint the topic is from what I would ever choose to think about... |
| 3023 | \end_layout |
| 3024 | |
| 3025 | \begin_layout Standard |
| 3026 | Pleasure... |
| 3027 | What is that mechanism, |
| 3028 | as it applies to this particular diary entry? |
| 3029 | Some days (OK most days) I find writing absolutely pleasurable. |
| 3030 | Writing code, |
| 3031 | writing here. |
| 3032 | The displeasure, |
| 3033 | now fleetingly disappearing, |
| 3034 | is that today's entry, |
| 3035 | I have to do some planning for the future. |
| 3036 | And at the start of the last paragraph, |
| 3037 | I had writers dread. |
| 3038 | Not writers block, |
| 3039 | but writers dread. |
| 3040 | The knowledge that it will be lots of stuff to write, |
| 3041 | it will be a large block of text, |
| 3042 | it will take hours, |
| 3043 | and I want to procrastinate and do something easy, |
| 3044 | but now that I've started, |
| 3045 | its OK actually. |
| 3046 | Its kind of like swimming in cold water: |
| 3047 | you don't want to even get in, |
| 3048 | but once you do, |
| 3049 | it's great. |
| 3050 | Maybe this is how most people think of exercise: |
| 3051 | |
| 3052 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3053 | \end_inset |
| 3054 | |
| 3055 | I don't feel like doing it |
| 3056 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3057 | \end_inset |
| 3058 | |
| 3059 | , |
| 3060 | but once you've warmed up, |
| 3061 | its fine. |
| 3062 | Next exercise bout, |
| 3063 | again: |
| 3064 | |
| 3065 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3066 | \end_inset |
| 3067 | |
| 3068 | I don't feel like doing it |
| 3069 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3070 | \end_inset |
| 3071 | |
| 3072 | . |
| 3073 | So today, |
| 3074 | for this writing/planning session, |
| 3075 | there was a small barrier: |
| 3076 | |
| 3077 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3078 | \end_inset |
| 3079 | |
| 3080 | I don't feel like doing this |
| 3081 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3082 | \end_inset |
| 3083 | |
| 3084 | . |
| 3085 | But I have to do some planning, |
| 3086 | and I can do it silently, |
| 3087 | let the gears whirl in my head, |
| 3088 | or I can write, |
| 3089 | here, |
| 3090 | and I know that writing gives superior results to silent thinking. |
| 3091 | \end_layout |
| 3092 | |
| 3093 | \begin_layout Standard |
| 3094 | This is, |
| 3095 | again, |
| 3096 | some kind of memory prosthesis. |
| 3097 | The act of verbalizing seems to have two effects. |
| 3098 | One, |
| 3099 | since I'm planning, |
| 3100 | I have to turn those shape–rotator thoughts into bullet points, |
| 3101 | and so that is necessarily a serialization process (and thus, |
| 3102 | linguistic in nature.) The other is the fire–n–forget aspect of enhanced short–term memory. |
| 3103 | Normally, |
| 3104 | if I think silently to myself, |
| 3105 | turning thoughts over in my head, |
| 3106 | I have to be careful to keep them in short–term memory, |
| 3107 | to not drop them on the floor, |
| 3108 | the way a juggler might drop a ball. |
| 3109 | And if I want to |
| 3110 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3111 | \end_inset |
| 3112 | |
| 3113 | make a note of it |
| 3114 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3115 | \end_inset |
| 3116 | |
| 3117 | , |
| 3118 | I have to consciously perform effort to commit the conclusion to long–term memory. |
| 3119 | Which takes effort, |
| 3120 | and is failure–prone. |
| 3121 | \end_layout |
| 3122 | |
| 3123 | \begin_layout Standard |
| 3124 | I must remark that during |
| 3125 | \begin_inset Quotes eld |
| 3126 | \end_inset |
| 3127 | |
| 3128 | default mode thinking |
| 3129 | \begin_inset Quotes erd |
| 3130 | \end_inset |
| 3131 | |
| 3132 | , |
| 3133 | that mental state that neuroscientists describe as being the default state of the brain during wakefulness, |
| 3134 | the connection between thoughts and long–term memory is weak. |
| 3135 | The thoughts tumble and churn, |
| 3136 | but are vague and unfocused, |
| 3137 | and the sequence is (mostly) not committed to long–term memory. |
| 3138 | Or rather, |
| 3139 | default–mode thinking is a kind of paging–in from long–term memory, |
| 3140 | some tumbling about, |
| 3141 | and then perhaps some editorial updates to what we remember. |
| 3142 | Those editorial updates are not even conscious; |
| 3143 | they sort of happen in the back–ground. |
| 3144 | Even when we do focus, |
| 3145 | limit ourselves to a specific set of topics, |
| 3146 | the overall process is not that different. |
| 3147 | Thinking is in automatic: |
| 3148 | I do not have to make myself think, |
| 3149 | my brain does it automatically for me. |
| 3150 | Now, |
| 3151 | I do have to make myself focus, |
| 3152 | or I do have to make myself write, |
| 3153 | or make myself take exercise, |
| 3154 | but default–mode thinking happens whether I want it or not. |
| 3155 | And, |
| 3156 | of course, |
| 3157 | sleep and dreams — |
| 3158 | the thinking there is even less connected to long term memory; |
| 3159 | the topics of dreams are mostly wiped on waking, |
| 3160 | no matter how vivid they were in the dream. |
| 3161 | Which is fine; |
| 3162 | the overt plot–line of dreams is nonsense, |
| 3163 | and should not be confused with waking reality. |
| 3164 | I assume that dreaming does involve repair or update or correlation of old memories: |
| 3165 | where we revisit old experiences, |
| 3166 | the fragments of impressions that make up old experiences, |
| 3167 | and attempt new combinatorial possibilities, |
| 3168 | reconnecting. |
| 3169 | The crazy–quilt is poorly formed, |
| 3170 | though: |
| 3171 | the dream is non–sensical. |
| 3172 | Perhaps some connections are strengthened; |
| 3173 | others weakened, |
| 3174 | the neurons in my head form and revise these associations, |
| 3175 | for the betterment of me during waking hours. |
| 3176 | But the quilt itself is too malformed, |
| 3177 | and discarded upon waking. |
| 3178 | \end_layout |
| 3179 | |
| 3180 | \begin_layout Standard |
| 3181 | And this bring me to the first topic of today's planning session: |
| 3182 | memory for Claude. |
| 3183 | \end_layout |
| 3184 | |
| 2995 | 3185 | \begin_layout Section* |
| 2996 | 3186 | The End |
| 2997 | 3187 | \end_layout |